In trying to arrange a board meeting, I sent an e-mail to ask, “When can we meet?”

No one responded with dates, so I e-mailed again and made some suggestions.

All of the respondents said, “I can’t meet any of those days.” But no one gave alternative suggestions.

So I sent another e-mail: “It seems Tuesday is the date that would work best, so we’ll meet then.”

One of the guys with the toughest schedule to accommodate finally responded: “I may have something that day. I’ll have to get back to you.”

Was he pushing my buttons?

I responded to all: “WE WILL MEET ON TUESDAY. IF YOU CAN MAKE IT, YOUR VOTE WILL BE COUNTED. IF NOT, YOUR VOTE WILL NOT COUNT.”

After receiving the e-mail, the board members began to ask if I was upset. I didn’t even realize the damage I was causing because I was too wound up to care. I was out of control.

But after enough people asking if I was okay, I was smart enough to go to my mentor and ask his advice. He basically told me that he knew there would be repercussions as soon as he saw the e-mail.

And then he was kind enough to give me some pointers on self-awareness (a.k.a. EQ, emotional quotient, emotional intelligence).

Psychologist Daniel Goleman developed Five Components of Emotional Intelligence, based on the psychological theory presented by Peter Salovey and John Mayer (Source, 2009).

  1. Self-awareness: the ability to correctly identify and name your emotions
  2. Self-regulation: the ability to control or redirect impulses and moods and think before you act.
  3. Internal motivation: the ability to be passionate about internal values, whether those things bring money and status or not.
  4. Empathy: the ability to be sensitive to others’ emotions as you serve them.
  5. Social skills: the ability to manage relationships and build networks for common good.

To learn more about emotional intelligence and how you can grow in this area, click here to contact Coach Dale.