In trying to arrange a board meeting, I sent an e-mail to ask, “When can we meet?”
No one responded with dates, so I e-mailed again and made some suggestions.
All of the respondents said, “I can’t meet any of those days.” But no one gave alternative suggestions.
So I sent another e-mail: “It seems Tuesday is the date that would work best, so we’ll meet then.”
One of the guys with the toughest schedule to accommodate finally responded: “I may have something that day. I’ll have to get back to you.”
Was he pushing my buttons?
I responded to all: “WE WILL MEET ON TUESDAY. IF YOU CAN MAKE IT, YOUR VOTE WILL BE COUNTED. IF NOT, YOUR VOTE WILL NOT COUNT.”
After receiving the e-mail, the board members began to ask if I was upset. I didn’t even realize the damage I was causing because I was too wound up to care. I was out of control.
But after enough people asking if I was okay, I was smart enough to go to my mentor and ask his advice. He basically told me that he knew there would be repercussions as soon as he saw the e-mail.
And then he was kind enough to give me some pointers on self-awareness (a.k.a. EQ, emotional quotient, emotional intelligence).
Psychologist
Daniel Goleman developed Five Components of Emotional Intelligence, based on the psychological theory presented by Peter Salovey and John Mayer (
Source, 2009).
- Self-awareness: the ability to correctly identify and name your emotions
- Self-regulation: the ability to control or redirect impulses and moods and think before you act.
- Internal motivation: the ability to be passionate about internal values, whether those things bring money and status or not.
- Empathy: the ability to be sensitive to others’ emotions as you serve them.
- Social skills: the ability to manage relationships and build networks for common good.
To learn more about emotional intelligence and how you can grow in this area, contact Coach Dale at
[email protected]
