Last week I talked about encouragement and how it ties to the 3 types of relationships we have been talking about over the past few weeks.
This week, I will be sharing some insights about The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.
Knowing how someone receives love is an important part of being in a relationship with them. This does not have to be just a romantic relationship, friendships, colleagues, children/family relationships can benefit from this understanding as well.
It is natural for us to default to giving love easiest in the way that we want to receive it. However, sometimes the people in our life want to receive love in their own way.
The 5 love languages are:
- Physical Touch
- Quality Time
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
On the link I shared above you can take their free quiz. It will take about 10 minutes. I believe that it is very worthwhile and would encourage you to ask the people in your life to take it as well.
Most of you know I got married recently. Kayla and I both took the 5 Love Languages quiz this week. The results were what we expected but did find one thing very interesting.
We both had 0 on receiving gifts. Zero. Nada. Zilch. This is interesting because we are both givers in our own way. As I have thought about it though, our giving is more a reflection of acts of service and words of affirmation. Also, our top two had the same exact percentages.
An example of this is that we just moved into a new home. I needed a new desk. Kayla encouraged me to buy a desk that would really serve me well, rather than just buying any desk that would merely suffice. She used her words to encourage me. The gift of receiving love in a way that matters is truly beautiful.
So, how do we look at the 5 Love Languages through the lense of the 3 main relationships we have been talking about?
Others: It will be important to find out what they like. You may have to experiment to see which gets the best reactions over time.
Self: This starts with being honest with yourself. Have you trained yourself to receive love in a way that you don't really like because it was what was given to you? Once you figure out what your real love language is it will be easier to adjust as needed to help give in ways that your loved ones will receive well.
God: God is a beautiful reflection of all of the 5 Love Languages put together. He understands what you need and you just have to ask him for it. Does God receive love from us? I believe He does. However, he doesn't need it.
When we do show the love of God to others and self - it could really include all 5 of the love languages. I believe that the best way to give/receive love to God is by spending time with him. That way you know his heart for you better and can give the love you have received. That doesn't mean putting God in a box of only “time”, the 5 love languages is a good example of the many facets of what the love of God really looks like.
This week, I challenge you to take the quiz if you haven't already, or maybe take it again if it’s been a little while. Then write down some of the ways you show love to yourself, others and God.
Schedule a “get to know each other” Zoom meeting!
Playlists — music can change your mood, enjoy some of the songs that encourage me.
The Identity Key — you can purchase my book on Amazon.